i didn't have any sleep at all last night. nada. went to bed around 10pm, woke up at 1pm and has been awake since. my mind wouldn't stop thinking and the voices in my head wouldn't shut up. yes, there are voices in my head. i'm not crazy, well maybe just a little...
for the past few months, i've been really stressed with work and mixing that with a toddler who is oh so cute, and has a lot of tricks up his sleeve, well, it just doesn't mix. i don't think i can ever be a successful full time working mom. i feel that my priorities have changed as the different stages in my life have presented themselves.
when i was single (a.k.a not married) , work was great. it allowed me to buy the things i needed for myself, boyfriend and family.
when i got married, shifting was still ok as hubby and i have been together for 13 years prior to getting married, we were used to each other's schedules.
when i got pregnant and gave birth, work was still ok but shifting was not. i felt that i needed to be with my son during the night. to leave for work while he was about to sleep was torture for me.
so i thought that moving to a morning account would end that. think again. now that my son is a toddler and going to school, the need for me to be with him is greater than ever. now, i feel that i'm shortchanging everyone. i don't want to feel guilty staying home with my son, but i do. i feel that i give less to the people i work with. and i feel that when i need to be at work for important meetings, i am shortchanging my son.
the past few days have made it clear to me, i'm slowly falling into fits of depression from all the stress, the worrying and that nagging voice inside my head.
i need to get out of this. i really do... soon!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
migs' first day in school
today was migs' 1st day in summer school. the day started fairly well. migs woke up around 730am , bath at around 8am. we dressed him up in a blue shirt with white stripes and white shorts. but then, he decided that he didn't like that and he picked his own clothes. he wanted to wear his blue and yellow beckham soccer jersey outfit. so he ended up looking like he was going to play soccer instead of going to school. but that was fine since they don't have uniforms in school and they encourage the independence in picking your own clothes, no matter how "baduy" or out of sorts it is.
so when he was dressed, we waited for the school service, which arrived around 8:40am. since the school is really near our home, it just took around 5-7 minutes of a car ride to get there. when we got there, there were a lot of parents, yayas and kids waiting for classes to start.
migs immediately felt at home and started to explore the vicinity. he went through the kitchen and came back to the lobby, like it was his own house. he went inside the admin office and looked around. the admin officer asked him questions while he was there and he answered. he asked about the printer and the staplers and the scotch tapes. he was pretty comfortable with the people and the surroundings.
migs belongs to the rugrats class for incoming nursery students. they are 9 students in his class with 2 teachers and 1 teacher's aid. when he got to the classroom, he went straight in without even looking back at me. he sat down and played with clay. i think i was the one experiencing separation anxiety as i didn't want to leave him in the classroom alone! i took a few videos and proceeded to wait outside as the other mommies tried to pacify their crying children.
when they went out to play, he walked confidently and i was proud to see that he was able to go up the playground gym by himself. by this time, hubby was also there to see how independent he was. when it was time to go back to the classroom for snacks, he was the first in line and didn't even wait for the teachers. he went straight back to the classroom, passing by the bathroom to wash his hands.
before it was time to leave, he made a request to go number 2 so yaya rose, the teacher's aid in his class, went with him to the bathroom. imagine that, on his first day, he decided to christen the school's bathroom :)
when it was dismissal time, he had his lunchbox in his hand and said good bye to his teacher. i was really proud of my migs today. i can't wait to hear more stories of how he's doing in school. unfortunately, i can't be with him when he goes to the rest of his school days because i have to be at work. boo!
to my migs, i know you will do well! i love you!
so when he was dressed, we waited for the school service, which arrived around 8:40am. since the school is really near our home, it just took around 5-7 minutes of a car ride to get there. when we got there, there were a lot of parents, yayas and kids waiting for classes to start.
migs immediately felt at home and started to explore the vicinity. he went through the kitchen and came back to the lobby, like it was his own house. he went inside the admin office and looked around. the admin officer asked him questions while he was there and he answered. he asked about the printer and the staplers and the scotch tapes. he was pretty comfortable with the people and the surroundings.
migs belongs to the rugrats class for incoming nursery students. they are 9 students in his class with 2 teachers and 1 teacher's aid. when he got to the classroom, he went straight in without even looking back at me. he sat down and played with clay. i think i was the one experiencing separation anxiety as i didn't want to leave him in the classroom alone! i took a few videos and proceeded to wait outside as the other mommies tried to pacify their crying children.
when they went out to play, he walked confidently and i was proud to see that he was able to go up the playground gym by himself. by this time, hubby was also there to see how independent he was. when it was time to go back to the classroom for snacks, he was the first in line and didn't even wait for the teachers. he went straight back to the classroom, passing by the bathroom to wash his hands.
before it was time to leave, he made a request to go number 2 so yaya rose, the teacher's aid in his class, went with him to the bathroom. imagine that, on his first day, he decided to christen the school's bathroom :)
when it was dismissal time, he had his lunchbox in his hand and said good bye to his teacher. i was really proud of my migs today. i can't wait to hear more stories of how he's doing in school. unfortunately, i can't be with him when he goes to the rest of his school days because i have to be at work. boo!
to my migs, i know you will do well! i love you!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
summer school
april 13, 2009 marks a new chapter in my migs' life. this is the first time he will go to school. although it is for the summer, the program is fit for kids who will be going to school in june for the first time, sort of a transition period. and since he will be going to the same school in june, i hope the change will be easy for him.
gone are the days of diapers, nightly feedings, and bedtime rockings. here come the days of parent teacher conferences, school activities and quarterly payments!
to my migs, i know you will do well. papa and i are proud of you!
gone are the days of diapers, nightly feedings, and bedtime rockings. here come the days of parent teacher conferences, school activities and quarterly payments!
to my migs, i know you will do well. papa and i are proud of you!
easter egg hunt
my nephews are coming over for the weekend. with about 7 kids in the house, i thought that an easter egg hunt would be fun for them to do. so i bought a couple of easter eggs, placed little party trinkets and a couple of candies in each.
on saturday afternoon, i will seclude the kids in a room and hide the eggs around the inside and outside of the house. then, i'll let the yayas and kids loose! this will be a fun activity. i can't wait. i hope migs gets a couple of eggs!
on saturday afternoon, i will seclude the kids in a room and hide the eggs around the inside and outside of the house. then, i'll let the yayas and kids loose! this will be a fun activity. i can't wait. i hope migs gets a couple of eggs!
Holy Thursday
today is Holy Thursday. i'm glad to be off work and spending time with my migs. he woke up pretty early so i took the chance and brought him to greenhills, along with my nephew jose. no traffic, not too many people, it was perfect. we took out his bike so he could go around the parking lot, far from the early morning joggers going around the shopping center. but alas, he preferred to run around, walk on and jump off the parking lot beams. we stayed just around 15 minutes since we took the car without permission from hubby. :) on the way home we bought fresh, hot pandesal from pan americana. yum!
this afternoon, we filled the kiddie pool with water. when my migs wakes up, he will dive right into it. i wish i was a kid again. life is soooo much simpler.
this afternoon, we filled the kiddie pool with water. when my migs wakes up, he will dive right into it. i wish i was a kid again. life is soooo much simpler.
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